Dear Young Miss,

It’s okay to be single. It is not an epidemic nor is it something to be scared of.

The maddening crowd seems not to like the idea of being single, happy and not looking but I think God has a different perspective. A higher view. Seated from His throne.

This post is a sort of reply to tonight’s discussion about all the single ladies. I have heard a lot about it growing up as a young person in church. I remember participating in rants saying “where are the men, Lord?” when I was younger and scared of growing old single {and I mean the same age as I am now – hahaha!} but now I see that it is not as bad as my younger self imagined it to be.

Tonight it just felt different, to use the word again. I could not quite agree. Growing older changes the way you look at some of the things.

You see it all started with the news about 4 young men: Shadrach, Meschach, Abednego and Daniel {as I would like to call ‘em}. Some people I knew rejoiced when they heard about it. I did not understand why I did not feel the same rejoicing. It just felt pretty normal.

I believe it was because God told me the following words below after my initial heart-skipping for a second at the news. I can still hear what He told me so clearly.

“Honor them as your brothers. Look at them as brothers.”

Those words really got me. It was a strong word for me but God spoke it so gently. If you know me, I’m quite an excitable girl especially when I see a guy who’s attractive and cute but that night as God spoke those words to me, changed the way I looked at men.

I am reserved for the one God has prepared for me. Therefore, these men and the men I know and work with are also reserved for the women God has prepared for them. That simple but not that easy to walk out, I know.

Amidst all the laughter and the brouhaha tonight that all the single ladies (I can hear Beyonce now) should pray that more men would rise up in church, a single thought came to my mind: “Is getting married the goal of every single lady or is it pleasing God, honoring Him and walking out His plan and destiny in my life?”

As I boarded the jeep tonight from the center, my mind was reeling with all the questions. For the first time in my life, the lines that said “be content in your singleness and use it as a time to let God prepare you and use you to glorify Him” came back. All those stuff that I thought were cliches suddenly seemed clearer and so right.

Life does not start when one gets married. It starts now. With Jesus. I felt like I bumped my head on the wall tonight and got sober. Really sobered up.

Yes, young miss, being single can be beautiful when it is laid down and offered up to God so He can be glorified in whatever we are doing and wherever we are.

And I may add this, there might be a “shortage” or “insufficient supply” of men in church but GOD can always make something out of nothing. He can always raise up one {yes, even the one we least expect} or bring one even from the farthest corners of this world.

What my cell group leader and spiritual mom told me early this week rang loudly in my ears, “enjoy where you are right now. Do what you’re supposed to be doing and just trust God.”

That’s one of the things I’ve always appreciated with Tita Nene. She never pressured us to look but rather to wait, wait and really wait coupled with trusting God that He will bring the right man on time, His way.

God wants to write our love stories – His style, paint it in bold, powerful strokes so that all that is seen is His imprint on our story.

I don’t see a man on the horizon right now. But I see a King and His name is Jesus – and He loves me perfectly. My eyes are on Him and He’ll be the One to choose who to give my heart to.

I don’t have all the answers today but He has all the answers and my heart is in Him. I choose to wait, be still and trust even if I do not see.

God, I look to You

Over-thinking and second-guessing are two of my worst habits. Ever since I was a young teenage girl, thinking about strategies was something I enjoyed doing.

I applied it on bullies, applied it during college exams so I wouldn’t have to study everything. By that I meant thinking “if I were Prof. ____, how would I make an exam?” and that kind of thinking helped me narrow down chapters and topics that needed to be studied. Most of the times I got it right.

Tonight though I was confronted with a fact – a certain reality – that left me hanging, unable to protect myself. I realized then that I always wanted to second-guess God because I wanted to protect myself.

But in God’s Kingdom, He is our Shepherd, our Father, our Lord, a Protector to name a few of His attributes. HE WANTS TO PROTECT AND HEAL US but He can’t do that if we’ve already gone ahead and built up walls to protect ourselves.

God wants total surrender and yes that means surrendering self-help strategies and scheming and letting Him take over.

Before I laid my head down to sleep, I surrendered my whys, my need to understand, my right not to be hurt and my preferences knowing that He who did not spare His own Son won’t withhold what is best for His children.

Whether we’re looking at an empty wallet, a family in crisis, a son or daughter gone rebellious, a loved one who’s sick or a broken heart, God is The Answer and He has All the answers.

He is I am to you and me.

Whatever your need is right now, know that God has and is the answer to that. He never ever fails. Just run and rest in His always wide open arms. Ready to be God the great I AM.

GOD says…

I AM the Good Shepherd.

I AM your Provider.

I AM your Defender.

I AM your Healer.

I AM the Author and the Finisher of your faith.

I AM your Father who wants to give you the Kingdom.

I AM your Banner.

I AM your Refuge, your Shelter.

I AM the Rock, a Fortress.

I AM your Comforter.

When I don’t have all the answers and don’t know what to do, I know my God knows everything. And with that I can sleep in His arms knowing that He is in control.

Why I Write

I’m no writer though I love to write to express how I feel, vent or just plain paint pictures. I’ve always been a fan of great writers like Tita Buds and Susan of Coming East to cite a few of my favorites. One day while I was reading one of Tita Buds’ posts about what started her writing, it made me think “yeah, how in the world did I start to write?”

For as long as I can remember the image of that small notebook where I wrote a short love story while I was a young kid still remains inscribed in my mind. That was also where I wrote a silly song that, up to this day, I can still {hear} the tune I made up to go with the silly lines. It was about making a fortune. hah!

But it was “romance” that got me writing longer stuff. By romance I mean my {first and only} ex-boyfriend way back from college. He was once the editor of our college’s newspaper. He got me into writing for the wrong reasons. So we could spend more time together and I got to share something that was important to him.

That stint stressed me out though. Why? He required me to write in Filipino, a language I wasn’t really so confident writing in. I know this sounds ironic coming from a Philippine History teacher. That is really one thing against me, someone who loves the Philippines. I find it hard writing in my national language. Cognitive dissonance in the house.

It was A.’s being the editor of that paper that somehow inspired me to write though for the life of me I can’t remember a single work that I wrote being published there. He co-wrote it with me or more like wrote it for me. He wrote beautiful Tagalog articles that sounded so melodious when I read it out loud. I was young then and “in love” with his Tagalog writing skills and his mind.

Next to A., it was insomnia that pushed me into writing. For a year way back in 2005, I suffered from insomnia after a heartbreak from an infatuation with a co-teacher. Funny, I can laugh about that now. That time I could not sleep.

It’s just awesome to look back at the things you cried over after God has healed you from it. To get over G., I wrote myself to sleep. Since I slept in the wee hours of the morning I filled dozens and dozens of digital pages on Blogger and Multiply writing poetry for God, social issues and my love for the Philippines. Interestingly, I never wrote about him in public. I just hid how I really felt in between pages of my journal.

And oh another thing that got me writing were my frustrations with painting and singing. What does that have to do with writing, you might ask? Well, for one since I cannot sing about how I felt for God, I simply wrote them on my journal. As for painting, I have always imagined writing and words as akin to painting on a canvas. I paint pictures using words and letters. That was always what I had in mind when I wrote my papers in college and in graduate school. Writing academic papers was always one of my favorite things in the University since I imagined myself painting pictures when writing about the Philippine Revolution, Social History, Local History and other topics of my choice.

Today, I now write because I want to talk about “One Thing”, or more specifically, One Person: Jesus. If you might notice, the posts I have always go back to Jesus whether it is about teaching, life, loss, social issues or the Philippines. It always goes back to the One whom my heart has found – Christ Jesus.

What I find funny here though is that when I look back, my writing “officially” started with a man A. and now ends and focuses on another One. Jesus.

He is the reason why I write. He is my One Thing. Jesus.

P.S. – I’d like to take this time to thank A. for opening that door to writing for me. He seems to have gone invisible or MIA even as I’ve already tried to search for him in the net just to thank him for everything. I hope that one day he’ll come across this blog and read this post of gratitude.

to bare or not to bare :)

Yes, I write about teaching and social issues but deep inside me I long to write about matters of the heart but the fear of being vulnerable and “out there” still holds me back.

Maybe someday, perhaps tomorrow, I can write about the deeper things in life and allow myself to take that risk to bare bits and pieces of my heart in this digital world.

For now, I still have that one step to take.

P.S. I have several sites where I write but for me this “One Thing” blog has always been my li’l nook where I feel safe to write away.

I will not be silent

It was the news article that got me roaring for a fight and to declare “Garcias, tama na, sobra na {enough is enough!}“.  In effect, this will be one of the many posts I will be writing as a sign of protest against the Garcias’ plan to “run over” Cebu and stake their claims on key political positions.  Pablo John Garcia for Governor, Winston Garcia for Congressman and Gwen Garcia {the incumbent Cebu governor} for Senator in the coming 2013 elections.

For years I have silently read the news articles about them although my family and I were engaged in heated discussions about politics including Gwen Garcia and her notorious antics over dinner and breakfast but I never wrote about it.  In short, I was carrying on a fight in private.  This May, I will no longer be silent and I will voice out what Cebu and many of the Cebuanos have already known:  “WE MUST SAY NO TO THIS CORRUPT FAMILY.”  This must be the point when we stop pretending that Cebu is “business as usual” and allow the same people to run this land.  NO!

So what can I do as an individual who does not even have political connections or the money?  I CAN PRAY AND FAST AND WAR IN THE THRONE OF GOD THROUGH INTERCESSION.  A throne that is higher and above any other court or throne in this land.  You may think me foolish to fast and pray as a form of warfare but much of History has been shaped through prayer and fasting.

Corrupt and unrighteous leaders were dethroned when the people of God set their faces and their hearts to God and cried out and I mean really cried out in behalf of their land.

Today, I went to church and had a bible study with some of the young people in church and went home thinking that business and life went as usual.  But listening and reading the news about this family opened my eyes to the truth that this is no time to go about with our lives as if nothing is at stake.  It just dawned on me this afternoon as I heard the news that if I don’t pray or if the people of God won’t pray or do anything about this, there is a big chance that these unrighteous political family would win in the positions they are running for.

They say that a nation gets the leaders they deserve.  Yes, that is true.  The leaders that we have reflect the mindset and the heart of a people.  Therefore, the people’s hearts must be changed as well.  As I have seen from experience, we cannot change people’s hearts through force or sheer political will.  For that to happen, there must be a spiritual awakening in each of our hearts.  And only from that inward change will real, social transformation take place.  That said I can only run to God for help.  I am angry, furious and mad right now at what is happening.  Mad that most of us have allowed these things to happen.  But I cannot be ruled by anger if I am to change a nation.  I must look at all these from God’s perspective or the fight will burn me out.  So help me, God.

I dare say and I close with this:  the only way for righteous leaders to rise up in this land is if God will intervene in our day-to-day lives.  There must be a cry that will go up straight to the throne room and say “Jesus, we want You.  Lord, we want You to move in this nation.”

And perhaps, I think, it really is not an accident that this year’s Fresh Fire 2012 Conference’s theme is “Nazirite Revolution:  The Call for National Reformation”.  This is certainly not a coincidence.  I dare say that it is a divine set-up and I pray that this May would mark a turning point {spiritually} in our land, for Cebu my beloved island province and for the young generation.

It is no longer business as usual.  There are giants to slay in this land.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” – Edmund Burke

Weekly Photo Challenge: The Sun

As I kept thinking today how I’d be able to take a photo of the sun just using my phone, I saw this scene greeting me today in my friend’s pocket garden.

Just had to write…

Tonight’s discussion was exhilarating and I was still hyperactive and excited as I boarded the jeepney with three of my students.  We were still talking about Rizal and yes, The Avengers.  Another thing that got me going was that two of my students also supported IJM and one even wanted to go with the IJM staff on a raid.  I think God is really showing me another side of the young people today.

Hyperactive and excited because I got to share with them the parallelisms of Jesus’ sacrifice and Rizal’s.  I could see it in their eyes that they were following and getting it -  Why was Rizal’s death considered a revolutionary act when he did not even fight in the 1896 Revolution?  I got that rhema this afternoon while I was rereading the report of the group assigned to discuss “Rizal and the Revolution”.

Dr. Floro Quibuyen writes in his Philippine Studies article that Rizal was like Jesus Christ wherein he willingly gave his life for the nation.  Yes, he did not fight in the Himagsikan but his death sparked an outrage and tore down the last brick on the wall, so to speak.

I showed the class the following parallelisms:

1.  The Jews were convinced that the King or the Messiah who would save them from their sins was someone mighty, armed with a sword to chase down all the Romans and defeat the Empire using bloodshed.  Their minds could not comprehend a meek, humble and gentle Savior.  It was totally different from what they expected.

In Rizal’s case, the historians that depicted Rizal as a reformist showed how Rizal repudiated the Revolution.  For Quibuyen, Rizal’s ultimate revolutionary act was to give his life willingly and with joy for the Filipinos.  Citing the Pasyon tradition which the Katipuneros adhered to, the voluntary sacrifice and giving of his life was not “mutually exclusive” and separate from the revolutionary tradition of the Katipuneros.

2.  I took the class down memory lane wherein different heroes of history showed martyrdom as something that sparked a call for change and a cry that says “Enough is enough!  We want change in the land.”  I reminded them of 1983 – Ninoy’s death – that angered the Filipinos and ignited that could no longer be contained.  What did he say?  “The Filipino is worth dying for.”  I told them to look at the examples of history that changed nations and we see people or individuals who were willing to give their lives for their land.  Think Mahatma Gandhi.

3.  I ended with this:  The same question that echoed in the 19th century still echoes through today…

Do you think the Filipino is worth dying for?  Would you gladly give your life for this nation to see it change?

Almost half of the class laughed and smirked but I could tell that they were getting it.  After the class, one student approached me and asked, “Miss, if we were to follow Rizal’s prescription of educating the people first then it would take a long time to see change?”  Yes, I told her she was right but then the Philippines did not get to follow that track as it was already swept away by the tide of revolution.  I call it a tide because it was something that Rizal and the ilustrados could not stop.  The people could no longer be contained.  While the ilustrados called for caution, the grassroots already wanted a revolution.

Here is where I want to focus.  In UP Diliman, where I once studied History, the debate pitting Rizal against Bonifacio is an ongoing thing.  For most of my profs it was not just a topic, it was a life thing and some of them even had fiery discussions and “conflicts” about the topic.  In my opinion, pitting them against each other is useless but instead we must show the young people where their thoughts diverged and converged.  They were same but different.  They had the same, common goal – a free Philippines – but they had different views on how to achieve that.  If one were to study the Katipunan, Bonifacio took Rizal’s last poem and the KKK used it as a rallying cry during the Revolution.  This is how Quibuyen puts it in one of his chapters “A Nation Aborted” {Rizal and the Revolution}.

“Quibuyen (1999): In the context of the Pasyon, acts of sacrifice, martyrdom, and armed struggle are not mutually exclusive modes of resistance.  In the Philippine millennial imagination, from Hermano Pule (1840) to Felipe Salvador (1910), to Tatang de los Santos (1967) to Ninoy Aquino (1983), martyrdom is the ultimate sacrifice and therefore the struggle par excellence.” – A Nation Aborted, p. 63.

Yes, I agree that teaching them the intellectual stuff is important and that their philosophies and ideas must be examined.  But I want to go beyond being intellectual and go to the root of the matter:  reaching the heart.  In my opinion, to teach history is akin to waging war against the false mindsets that we have as a nation.  I want my students to see that the issues and the problems we see today existed even way back in the 19th century.  The politicking, power play, division against the classes, corruption and poverty among others were already present in their time.

Why then do these same problems continue to exist today?  It is because we have only known and memorized history but we have never understood it.  I told two of my students who had approached me after class that what we are fighting today is kinda like a “historical curse” that we need to break.  And for us to break a generational thing requires that one knows and understands what he or she is up against.  Remember our topics on war?  For generals to defeat their enemies, they had to know their enemy.  That, my friends, is still the same thing today.

But I am praying and, maybe, I will be fasting for my class that at the end of the summer, I can tell them that the fight that we are in {they don’t even know that we are in a battle} is spiritual in nature and cannot be won by mere writing, words or guns and politics.  What we can accomplish through our writings, videos, awareness and even the bloody struggle {if need be} must first be won in the spiritual realm.

I realized that this week while I was preparing for my class.  I can study all I want but without prayer and fasting it would be impossible to win this battle for a nation.  We win it first on our knees.  Yes, I still am a long way far from interceding night and day for the Philippines to see change but I think this eye-opener is quite a start.  I must pray.  We must pray if we are to change and shake this nation.

I leave you, dear readers, with two quotes.  One from George Bernard Shaw and another one from the Bible.

“You see things and say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?” – George Bernard Shaw, “Back to Methuselah”

“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” – John 12:24

This. digital. generation

I love digi-loafing on tumblr especially when I’m photoblog-hopping and tonight I stumbled on one very interesting site – a photoblog by a Miss Sarah Phoebe- who turns out to be a cousin of my brother Jim’s good friend, Ean D.  It’s amazing how small this world is getting because of technology.  But I am digressing from my point here.

Some examples of her lovely photos

You see every time I check out the photo-blogs of my brother Jim’s friends and their friends, I cannot help but shake my head in awe at the creativity and artistic energy this generation has.  In their youth, their talent and creative juices have been translated into something visible.  The invisible becoming visible.

As a college teacher, I find myself constantly thinking and asking God “What do I need to do to draw these young people into using what they have in their hands into changing this nation?”  Yes, I will not deny that sometimes my students’ lack of interest in History and in reading the voluminous articles I assign can be quite discouraging but I’m thinking what if I finally discover what their interest is and get to tap that so I can get them to produce something, to search for the truth for themselves and to know freedom as that truth sets them free.  I’m just thinking out loud here.

Checking out the photoblogs of sarpeebs, photograpia, eand.’s and aihinwonderland and the twitter account of the young Valencianos to cite a few is something that makes me think “Was this how the generation of Rizal’s looked like?  I’m talking about talent.  Theirs was a writing-and-painting generation though.  Think Luna and Resurreccion Hidalgo.

So what do you think?  This summer, I’ve decided to have a variety show on Rizal and his works as my class’ final exam and I’m planning to bring it outside in Plaza Independencia {a public park here in Cebu}.  I am praying for my heavenly downloads of teaching strategies to touch this generation.  I think I am seeing for myself that this is a different generation and will need a different strategy to reach out to them other than what has been written in teaching and education books.

Strategies, where art thou?  Jesus, help me. I want to tap into this young ones’ creative pool. I am excited for what God will show me.

    Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,… – Ephesians 3:20

Weekend Snapshots: Moving Up weekend

Finally, school year 2011-12 for us is over! Grace and mercy followed me until the end and that’s the only reason why I made it ’til the end.  Only because of Jesus.

Enough said, here are some lovely snapshots from a weekend that finally brought peace and rest to my unruly heart after a quite stressful last two weeks in school. hahaha!

Thank You, Lord.  It is finally finished.

Ecstatic that it's finally over! Thank You, Jesus!

Same but Different

Loved looking at the bubbles in my glass {and in my Mom’s} while we were out having dinner one night at Max’s Fried Chicken at Ayala Center Cebu.

I remember taking this shot since looking at them reminded me of a well-coordinated dance or a tango between a couple.  Maybe it was the position of the glasses but they sure made me think of bubbles and dancing.

Just like marriage, I think.  Two individuals who have the same love for each other and the same vision but totally different in each and every way.  They somehow end up together according to a divine plan and that’s when the dance starts.  A dance of love, a dance of courage and a dance of faith. 

What do you think?

from my heart to Yours

Tonight, I stumbled on a young woman’s post. A lady barely a year over twenty but wrote with a wisdom and honesty that took me by surprise. I literally saw what writers say that “great writing is about becoming vulnerable to your audience.” That said, I still have a long way to go.

While words can be a writer’s help just as paints and brushes can be the painter’s tools, I love to hide behind words. They work for me just like how an umbrella protects me from the sun’s rays or perhaps how car shades somehow shield the onslaught of the heat inside the car. I. hide. behind. words. Taking care not to say anything although I fill up pages and pages of the digital world with my blog posts. But they do not actually reveal the real me.

As I was reading her posts, I thought to myself maybe it’s just the 8×4 factor to her 7×3. 7×3 is what she puts on her page as her age. Maybe as one gets older, the walls become higher ’til all we let others see or read is almost a shadow or a mirage to the real thing.

I’d like to believe that God wants us to tear down those walls around us. Believe me when we’ve put up walls to protect us from people, those same walls also prevent God from doing a deeper work in our hearts. We pretend we’re okay with God; that we are transparent with Him but at the end of the day we find ourselves still clutching the fig leaves just like the ones Adam and Eve were holding when they hid from God.

So as I went over and over the pages of her tumblr site, I somehow made – or rather – breathed a silent prayer that I would begin to open up my heart again – not just when I write but maybe to another man again instead of piling the bricks higher and higher each passing day.

Only God can tear down these walls. And as I come before Him tonight, I pray that I would start to trust Him – wholly – with my heart again. Vulnerable and childlike in His throne knowing that whatever He has in His hands for me is good and will always work out for the good of those who love Him.

Jesus, here is my heart. I give it all to You – even those pieces that I can’t even find anymore. You promised to make all things new.

I’m beginning to see that as I see the light of morning once again and I’m starting to feel something inside again – like a frozen lake slowly unfreezing in the warmth of the day.

Maybe it was that surprise – the one that still brings me joy every time I think about it – that started this unfreezing. Thank You, Jesus.

Exactly!:)

Weekly Photo Challenge: Arranged

Trying my hand in this weekly photo challenge.

When I saw this shower room wall at the Waterfront Hotel Cebu’s pool area, its seemingly random arrangement struck me. It looked spontaneous and random but, at the same time, clearly not.

Just like how much of life looks like. To some it may look a series of random events but actually these things happen because a Master Artisan in heaven is slowly building the stones, bit by bit, piece by piece to form a beautiful artwork.

The stones may not always be beautiful or perfectly formed just like life’s events but as He takes each beautiful and ugly piece together, His divine imprint causes them to work together for our good and for His glory. What a way to live life!

Shot with my Hipstamatic for iPhone

Lens: Jimmy

Flash: Off

Film: Blanko

From The Daily Post’s Weekly Photo Challenge:  Arranged

Why I teach Rizal…

While my sister was preaching tonight about Identity and Purpose, a missing dot to something I have been mulling over suddenly hit me.   For days now, something which my students wrote about kept me thinking.  In their opinion, studying Rizal is useless today when the most pressing social issues should take center stage instead of focusing on someone who’s already dead for over a century.  They were right about that but I still could not help but feel a niggling thought in my mind that there was something missing to that statement.

Tonight during the Word, a Eureka moment got me.  That’s it!

The reasons why we do need to study Rizal is because…

1.  We HAVE NOT LEARNED THE LESSONS OF THE PAST.  That statement totally missed the point of history.  The past is not an alien nation.  It is not disconnected from the present and the present social issues we are battling against today have roots in the past.  They still exist today because we have not cut its roots.

2.  The Philippines today look a bit much like the Philippines that Rizal lived and breathed in except that we are “technologically more convenient” and digitally interconnected unlike in his time.  Corruption, bribery and poverty still exist and it is becoming something “acceptable” to us Filipinos.  It’s like we say “mao jud nang Pinoy {ganyan talaga ang Pinoy/that is so Filipino}” instead of saying this should NOT BE THE STATUS QUO!

3.  We study it because we still have not found the solution to the social issues that plague and hound us.  Or worse, we have found it but have not applied it.  In my opinion, what this nation needs is a change that starts from the inside out.  That said, only Jesus Christ can truly change this nation.  We do not need another set of programs or more brilliant politicians.  WE NEED LEADERS WHO ARE FATHERS/MENTORS.  WE NEED LEADERS WHO HAVE MET GOD AND WHOSE HEARTS HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED.

4.  We study Rizal’s life, works and writings because though we read his works and we see his monuments all over this nation and we seem to know facts about him, we really do not understand and know what to do to change our nation.

5.  We need to know our history and where we came from because most of us have not fully grasped the gravity and the need to cry out and ask God for a transformation in the Philippines.  We have been so desensitized to our national realities that we have begun to accept them as it is instead of fighting for what should and ought to be.  We have stopped fighting for what the heroes in the past fought and died for and that is freedom.  Theirs was a physical freedom but ours must be a fight for spiritual freedom.  It is only when the spiritual chains of this nation will be broken will this nation really live out its calling and destiny in God.

6.  I teach Rizal and I love teaching Rizal because this is where I can impart to this young generation a love for this nation not birthed by human ideals but from a divine impartation from the Father in heaven.  Why a divine impartation?  You see only He alone can impart a love and a fight for a nation that does not want to be set free.  The love and the feelings may come and go once reality and frustration sink in but when it is from God, He restores it, breathes new life to our fight and gives us a second wind.

There must be a cry for change coming out of us in behalf of the Philippines.  I am praying that a group of young and not-so-young Filipinos will stand up and say “Enough is enough!  I want my nation  to change.  I want my nation set free.  Lord Jesus, we need You in our land and only You can set this nation break those chains.”

When we reach that critical mass, I tell you something will break free in the land.  I am praying for open heavens and I am asking for no less than a nation whose heart has been turned back to God.  It’s time we cry out and seek His face for the Philippines.

And that, my friends, is the reason why I teach Rizal and Philippine History.

How about you?  What do you think of Rizal and Philippine History?

*a repost from my Tumblr teaching blog* – a blog where I brainstorm, vent, pray out loud for my classes

taking a R-I-S-K

…by writing about one fine day.

Almost two days before our theater class would have its culminating activity, I asked my partner teacher if I could go out earlier before 12 noon so I would have a longer lunch break.  It was a milestone for my 5-year old nephew and I did not want to miss the celebration .

“Yes, no problem, teach” and with those words I didn’t know that my life would change, so to speak.

On the day itself I could not wait to get out of school and get to the place.  I tried calling my mom but her mobile phone kept on ringing.  Scared that they were probably finished by then and already eating their lunch, I hurried out.  Running as fast as my short legs could carry me.

That walk from the preschool to the jeepney stop was probably the fastest I had in my whole history of working there. I had just boarded a jeep when my phone rang.  It was my mom telling me that they had just finished.  Dang, I was already on my way.  The heat seemed to be at its highest on that day.  I could not care less.  All I thought was I wanted to get to that place f-a-s-t.

Less than 15 minutes, I was already at the corner waiting for another jeep to bring me to another point near the place.  I was getting impatient so I had hailed a cab.  It took me only less than 10 minutes to get to the front door of the place.

I knew I looked and smelled like a mess.  It was hot – Holy Week heat came early.  I felt as if my hair was sticking out in all the wrong places.  I rushed inside and greeted the staff and went straight to the rest room where I hurriedly changed into a denim skirt and a decent-looking shirt.  I made efforts to look human – straightening my hair, spritzing on my favorite cologne and putting on my ever-dependable heels.  Since I realized I could not add or do anything that would change the way I looked that day – harassed and a bit hyperactive – from all the class activities, I gave up and walked out of the rest room just as I heard someone asking who had reserved that table in that corner.  The accommodating staff ushered me to the place my sister had reserved and sat down on one of the chairs.

A few minutes after I sat down, a young man asked me if a family member he knew would be joining us.  I told him “no, he is in Manila  right now” for a school activity.  He muttered something.  A line only their generation understood.  I went back to my phone.  I did not want to make small talk.  All I had in mind was “Where are they?” and kept looking at the parking lot to check if the familiar green van was already there.  No signs.

Then came another question again about the family member and I obliged by giving the info he asked for.  He went to the table and I gave it to him.  I go back to my faithful companion – my iPhone.  This time I had already noticed that he kinda looked cute.  A cute albeit very young man.

I pretended to be busy with my phone as he passed by the table and said,”I’m helping out for the summer”.  The second time he went back to the counter, he asked if I wanted something or not.  I politely declined and told him that my sister had already ordered.  A few minutes passed and this time he goes to the table and asks if he could sit there.  “Sure” and I ask him what his course was.

When I knew what course he was taking, I asked him what his plans were.  His plans had changed and now he wants to do research instead of taking a longer route as most are wont to do when taking this course.   As soon as he said that something just lit up inside of me and I told him “Oh wow! That’s what we need today! More researchers!”  His eyes beamed and I shared about my previous work experience that was close to his field.

He began to share about what field he wanted to major and where he was going for the summer for his practicum.  By this time, I was so hyped up!  His was an interesting subject and sounded so exciting!  I did not know that the subject he wanted to study could be found in a part somewhere in the Philippines.  It was something I was genuinely interested in and I began asking questions.  A lot of questions were already lined up in my mind and  I told him about working for a climate change project in the past, how I had a boss who was also in the same field that he was planning to enter in.

And in the middle of that intellectually stimulating conversation, he asks “So if _____ is 22, then you’re 24?”  “Huh?! Say what again?” I wanted to ask him.  For the life of me, I could not answer back.  I was too embarrassed to tell him that he was 8 years wrong.  When he saw the confused and embarrassed look on my face, he said “Oh so you guys have a big age gap?” “Hmm, yes” I feebly answered while nodding my head.  In my mind I was thinking “how do I tell him how old I really was without shocking him?”

I resorted to the wisest choice I could think of.  I kept quiet and smiled.  Kept quiet because it was the first time I was tempted – really tempted – to lie about how old I was.    That was the first and only time that thought entered my mind.

Just when I was about to add some information that would encourage him to continue with what he wanted to do and to let him know that if you are doing that thing that you love most, money will come chasing after you, my bro-in-law the preacher and the family  and a friend arrived and I sheepishly introduced him to my sister and her husband.

And there, folks, goes the rest of my life-changing story.  Mundane and shallow it may seem but the lessons that God wrote on my heart that day went a long way deep.

Here are the little gold heart nuggets:

* I felt that long-lost heart-skipping beat again that you get when you meet someone you admire.  After a looong time.

* I have always wondered silently if I would meet a guy whom I could talk to about intellectual stuff and not worry if I sounded too geeky or not.  Nope, he certainly is not Mr. Dream guy or Mr. Right, I assure you, but I felt like I was really my geeky self while I was talking to him.  I know when I finally get to meet the man God has for me, I’ll have that same feeling of being comfortable and real {I guess}.

*  That day God brought me back again to what I had always wanted to do in my heart:  the ‘something’ he also wanted to do but in my field.  Listening to him passionately talk about what he wanted to do reminded me of the time when I was so passionate and fired up about doing research in Philippine History and how that research could change a nation and open the eyes of a generation.  That conversation reminded me of that.

*  God showed me the fears that pulled me back for a long time.  I did not want to do what He had called me to do because I had feared that if I was cooped up for too long in a library or in an archive, I may miss life and excitement.  Wrong on all counts, Miss.  God can bring in a suddenly wherever you are if you are at the right place doing the right thing at the right time.

*****

God used that incident to touch my heart and bring healing.  Meeting him made such an impact on me.

I cannot quite put into words how I felt but I know God did something.  In my opinion, it was only a mundane occurrence  for him since he did not even remember my name but for me it was like God unlocked something deep within.  I began to see that God as a Father only desires the best for us but He cannot give us what He wants if we insist on having what we want.  Funny.

What I find amazing is that God, so many times now, does not heal or restore us the way our minds think.  He always works out of the box.  His style and His way are literally out-of-this-world!  I would have expected a revival service accomplishing that work or a heart-to-heart talk perhaps.  What happened that day was totally different.

So, Jesus, thank You.  While others may think I keep thinking about that young man too much, my heart and my mind have been on God lately.  It showed me a different side of God’s love and personality that really touched my heart to the very core.  And for that, Lord, I want to thank You for using him.  He may not be Mr. Right and I may not meet him again but he came at the right time and You used him to teach me a very valuable lesson.

Please keep him safe in that place and preserve him for the one you have reserved for him.

I love You, Jesus.

Auntie and Anna – photo taken by Ann

Word of Warning:  If this post sounds vague it is because I don’t want to be too specific and I’ll be found out.  Hahahaha! Thanks.

Dear You,

Miss you.

Hope the fish were good today.

The waters calm and serene.

With blue skies and a smiling sun over your head.

Here’s praying that laughter and joy will keep chasing you all the days of your life.

God as your partner.

Have loads of fun!

And I hope you won’t stumble on this site or else…

I’ll be found out.

signed,

Me, an unknown stranger

How Did You Know

How did you Know-Gary Valenciano (by ekahjoy)

This song really captures how I feel when I met Jesus and experienced His perfect love for me.  He truly turned my life around and made all things new.

It also reminds me of something that happened almost two weeks ago that made quite an impact on me.  It brought a transformation in the inside and brought me back to what I really wanted in the first place.

That thing may never happen again but the God-message of that day for me was “Yen, reach for the stars.  I have prepared something incredible, exceeding your wildest imaginations and that anything is indeed possible” with and in Christ Jesus.

To Mr. A., thank you.  God used you in more ways than one to speak to me about His goodness, His love and His second chances.  He used you to tell me that anything is possible.  And, also, to remind me that I am His beloved, His princess and that what He desires for me is good instead of the lies that I had believed for so long a time.

The love message that God wrote is inscribed deep in my heart as He used you to reveal another facet of His amazing love.

It’s amazing how God brings His divine suddenlies into our mundane moments and our lives are never ever the same again.

So as you embark on a new adventure, I pray that you be safe and that you’d have a great time there.  My only prayer is that God would use you mightily and that you would know Him in a deeper way.  May your talent and creativity be used for His glory!

“He makes ALL things beautiful in His time.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11

 

all the lovely ladies with Princess Anna

“He makes ALL things beautiful in His time.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11

God-treats: beloveds

my beloveds

Look at my cute niece, Anna. Was so amused to see her gamely pose for Kuya Sam with her pigtails and headband in spite of having a fever {temperature of 38+ when this photo was taken}.

I could not resist posting this lovely photo that my nephew Sam took of me and his sister Anna.  Godtreats from my Father up in heaven:  my nephew and my niece – SamandAnna!

A for Effort :)

So for a lack of a better term, I will call myself an “attempting artist”.  I mean I like to paint.  Or rather, dream should be the word.  I dream of painting.

PAINT.  And because I dream of painting, I attempt to paint flowers {because they are easy} and butterflies and trees.  That said, I have papers and papers of watercolor paintings strewn all over the floor of my bedroom in my attempts to come up with a masterpiece.

PHOTOS.  This is actually the gist of this post.  A photo a day.  In January I had a tumblr photoblog account that attempted {again} to document my efforts at taking a picture a day.  Alas, it was impossible at times to do so as some of the school work caught up with me.  Therefore, I renamed my blog to <365 – a school teacher’s attempt to take 1 photo a day.

The bad news is I deleted that blog.  It’s been over a month since I deleted that tumblr account and I’d have to say that I regretted it.  So now I’m starting a photoblog here in WordPress in another site.

Ta-ta! It’s up and running now and since I took several pictures in January and in February, I will have a posting overload of those images I took in one sitting.

Be forewarned though.  I am not a photographer nor am I a budding photographer.  I’m just someone who loves capturing moments for posterity’s sake.  The photographs I take are usually those of my students or my nephew and niece tandem or something mundane that caught my eye.

I subscribe to the adage that says “practice makes perfect”.  I hope that with this exercise I’ll learn to take beautiful pictures.

Disclaimer:  And if, at the end of 2012, I still haven’t perfected the art of photography, I will be comforted by the thought that these images can be used in future works of historical research as primary sources in the study of social history.

Now, this was quite a long-winded defense at my attempts.:)

This is my site:  Yen’s 365

to yo.u

Amidst all the words swirling and flying all around tonight

in that almost-empty coffee shop,

I remembered you.

A friend brought me down that lane called Memory as she

recounted tales of her adventures and misadventures that year we met.

While I was looking at her, listening to both her funny and sad stories,

The memory of that year took me back to that one unforgettable afternoon.

Everything frozen in time.

But that’s all in the past.  What we have today is NOW and it is a gift.

Separate lives,  Separate paths. 

And I, for one, am excited to start a new beginning,

a new life with a different promise altogether.  Another page.

I smell rain and sunshine at the same time.

Rain that brings with it expectations of new life growing.

Sunshine that brings a beam of light to a hazy and blurry path.

OUT WITH THE OLD.  IN WITH THE NEW.

to yOu

Time flies so fast.  I did not even notice that dusk had fallen.

I miss you.

You probably do not have a clue about this.

But.

I miss you.

Miss your footsteps.

Miss your smile.

Miss your voice.

“Yen!”

My mom is calling me.

What was that again?

I think I just had a dream.

I dreamt I missed you.

photo taken by my sister Happy, January 2011, Panglao Island, Bohol